


Another Goodbye

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 01:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16030265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: Bunny hates goodbyes, especially when it involves A.J Raffles.





	Another Goodbye

There he was, A.J Raffles- my A.J Raffles- sitting with his legs stretched out upon the settee, reading a crisp newspaper. He was the very definition of elegance as we sat there that autumn evening with the fire glowing beside us and a red in his cheeks that only accentuated his fine cheek bones. 

I turned the last page of my book dreamily, read it in a daze, and then set it down upon the table, not remembering a word I had read. “You ready for the off then?”

Raffles looked up from his paper. “Yes, quite ready and ah, you’ve finally finished the thing, have you?” he said, looking down at the book on the side.

“Yes, it was remarkable, but we don’t want you to miss your train.”

He checked his pocket-watch. “Plenty of time, Bunny, though I should pack some things.”

“You haven’t packed yet?” I stood up, walking over to him and yanking at his arm until he too got up to my level.

“You do worry, my little Rabbit.” His laughter was deep and a touch condescending but it was a laugh I had grown to love.

“Pack!” I was firm with him and I saw a surprised look in his eye but also a hint of curiosity. 

He saluted me and we headed towards his bedroom. There was no time to waste.

…

Outside the Albany we waited for the hansom carriage to escort Raffles to the station and we stood, as we always did, by the side of the road, a porter attending to the luggage. There was a fine evening mist all around and it only heightened the air of ambiguity surrounding Raffles when he stood in the dark, his flowing cloak behind him, his top hat silhouetted against the darkness of the night.

It was goodbye. He would be gone for several weeks and knowing Raffles as intimately as I did, it would be a good month before I saw him again. For some reason, as I stood there watching him leave the pavement and into the cab, I felt he was leaving me forever and I was wholly glad the fog covered my expression of sadness as the hansom pulled away.

“See you soon, Bunny,” I heard him call. 

“Bye, Raffles.”

I’d always hated goodbyes. They felt so final. I’d had goodbyes before. I’d had many with Raffles. The very first time we said goodbye forever had been back at the old school when Raffles left the place, leaving me alone in that awful institution. I was his fag no longer. He was an adult, called to the world and I was still a boy, though I would have done anything to have been Raffles’ equal, his age. Quite frankly I would have volunteered to do anything for him if it meant staying together.

…

I remember feeling as if the world was coming to its end that last week we had together at the old school, knowing that every conversation we shared was nearly the last one. The evening before he left he invited me to his room and I sat on the armchair, perched on the edge, knowing nothing to say except that I didn’t want him to leave. He sat reclining on the settee, smoking a cigarette, and he took a few drags before he acknowledged me.

“Now, Bunny, are you quite alright, old chap? You’ve been awfully quiet since you came in. Usually you’re rabbiting away.”

“I’m well, Raffles. I think I’m just tired.”

“You’re not sickening for something?”

“No, Raffles.”

“Did you finish those verses?”

“You mean my personal ones?”

He laughed. “Yes, your personal ones. You were scribbling away in that notebook on the side of the cricket pitch. Thought it must be something exciting to tear you away from the game. Verses to a lover, eh Bunny?”

I felt my cheeks redden and I smiled shyly. “They’re not inspired by anyone in particular,” I lied. 

“You’re a secretive little Rabbit, aren’t you? Oh, by the way, have you got my things packed?”

“Yes, Raffles. I think packing is a job that should be done right away so you don’t forget anything.”

“And nothing’s missing?”

“Only me, but I’m too big to fit!”

He laughed. If only he knew I meant it. He got up then from his seat and made his way to the bureau. He opened a drawer and pulled out a leather-bound journal of some kind.

He whistled a summons for me to join him and when I approached he tapped me on the head with the book. “Don’t say I never get you anything.”

“What is it?”

He sniffed it and then examined it. “Well by the looks of it, Bunny, it appears to be a book.”

“Yes, but what is it for?”

He sighed. “It’s a leaving present and its for writing in. You’ve done me many favours in our time together, Bunny.”

I took the journal gently from his hands and held it tightly to my chest, never wanting to let it go. “I’ll treasure it forever, Raffles, I promise.”

“Hmm?” He wasn’t listening. “Ah yes, of course you will. You’re a loyal rabbit to the last. By Jove Bunny, is that the time?” he said, looking at the antique clock on the ledge. “I’ve got a few things to do before the off tomorrow.”

“I shall miss you, Raffles.”

He smiled and ruffled my hair. “Silly boy.”

I found myself angered by that and told him so with an irritable voice. I stood as tall as I could, slightly on tip-toes but still much shorter than he. “I’m almost a man!”

“Of course you are! Before you know it, you’ll be where I am now. Oh, don’t forget a carriage is collecting me an hour earlier than we thought tomorrow.”

“I won’t forget.”

…

I didn’t forget. How could I when I’d lay awake all night playing the scenario of his departure in my mind? In every instance it was torturous and I felt ill at the prospect of morning. 

When morning did arrive, it was raining and blustery- the weather reflecting my mood. I stood at the window in Raffles’ rooms and I could see a carriage below that was to take him away from me. Raffles appeared from behind me, whistling a merry tune and he looked so calm, so charming, so content and ready for the change that was in the air.

He tapped me on the shoulder. “Ah, I see my carriage awaits,” he said as he too peered out of the window. 

I looked down at my feet, not wanting to look up and show him my eyes were filling with tears. But he lifted my chin and gazed at me. “Is something the matter, Bunny?”

“I’m…just going to miss you.”

He laughed lightly and fist bopped my chin. “Well, I should think so. I shall miss you too, little thing, and not just because you get my boots so clean and fetch and carry for me.”

“For other things, Raffles?”

“There never was a more loyal and faithful schoolfriend. But don’t be glum, Bunny, you mustn’t spend all your days to come moping about my leaving. Promise me you’ll make new friends?”

I shrugged. I had a few friends but I doubted I’d ever find someone I cared so deeply for as I cared for Raffles. 

“Well, I don’t want to be late, do I?” he said. “Help me carry my final bags downstairs?”

“It’ll be my honour, Sir.”

But before we picked up the bags, I unexpectedly threw my arms around his middle and buried my face in his chest. I could feel his heart beating and never ever wanted to leave his arms. 

“Bunny, my dear chap, what’s all this?” he said as he gently pulled me away. He took out a handkerchief and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “In a week or two you’ll have forgotten all about me.”

“Never Raffles!”

He shook my hand and smiled warmly. “Come on, help me with these things, it’s a long journey.”

As he turned to leave I stopped him. “Raffles? In the future, when I’m grown, may I look you up?”

“Well of course my dear fellow. And I’ll be happy to receive you, after all you’ve covered for me so many times I’ve lost count. If ever times are hard for you, I am indebted to return that favour.”

…

He climbed inside the carriage and I raced upstairs to watch from the window. In the rain, my view was obscured but I watched as he left the school forever. It was then that I cried. My heart felt as though it had been split in two but I cried quietly for fear someone would hear me. I cried myself to sleep that night, and when I finally fell to slumber, my dreams were occupied with thoughts of A.J Raffles. How would I go on the next day and the next and the next? How would it be bearable without the sight of him? 

…

And as the years passed by and we re-acquainted, every single goodbye between us reminded me of that first ever one. The one that broke my heart.

So, when I caught sight of him a month after his departure from the Albany, I was for a moment lost for breath and I stood at the side of the road, heart racing, waiting for the first glimpse of his face. He stepped out of the hansom with a smile on his lips that was most definitely for me. 

“There you are my dear chap.”

“Always, A.J, always.”

“You didn’t miss me, did you?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

I did miss him, of course I did. But I didn’t tell him that. There would be many more goodbyes between us but as long as there wasn’t a final one then I was happy to continue our chaotic and unpredictable life together. As far as I was concerned, no matter what transpired, Raffles and I were forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a fic challenge over on tumblr for 'Something to make someone cry' (hopefully it's a little sad anyway)


End file.
